Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
