then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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