Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
