Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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