Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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