You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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