....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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