The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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