Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
