I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
