We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
