she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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