..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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