Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
