i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
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We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize