Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
