I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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