Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
