my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
