is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize