Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
