the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
