let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
