Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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