forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
