I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
and you fell through a lawn chair
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
