In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
