he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize