I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
