i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
