By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
