the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I want a musical about memes.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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