Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
