Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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