porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
it's great music for shaving your balls
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
