I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
