Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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