i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
