Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
