Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
