what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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