so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
