I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize