i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
