Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I need a beard to bite.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
