I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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