That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
