You're completely useless in the revolution.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Randomize
