I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
