what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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