so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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