Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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