y did u give ur computer a hand job?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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