Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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