didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
