honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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