it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Green mimosas i think yes
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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