If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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