i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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