O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
