Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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